Peddler:
Oh!
Trapped!...
Tricked! ...
Hoodblinked! ...
Ambushed!. .
Men:
Friend,
Whut's on yer mind?
Why do you walk
Around and around,
With yer hands
Folded behind,
And yer chin scrapin' the ground?

Peddler:
[Speaking]
O fellars I don't believe it!

[Singing]
Twenty minutes ago I am free like the breeze,
Free like a bird in the woodland wild,
Free like a gypsy, free like a child,
I'm a happy man!

[Additional Verse]
I'm unattached!
Twenty minutes ago I can do what I please,
Flick my cigar ashes on a rug,
Dunk with a donut, drink from a jug-

Peddler:
I'm minding my own business like I oughter
Ain't meanin' no harm to anyone.
I'm talking to a certain farmer's daughter-
Then I'm looking into the muzzle of a gun!

Men:
It's getting so you cain't have any fun!
Every daughter has a father with a gun!
It's a scandal, it's an outrage!
How a gal gits a husband today!

Peddler:
If you make one mistake when the moon is bright,
Then they tie you to a contract,
So you'll make it ev'ry night!

Men:
It's a scandal, it's an outrage!
When her fambly surround you and say:
"You gotta make an honest womern outta Nell!"

Peddler:
To make you make her honest, she will lie like hell!

Men:
It's a scandal, it's an outrage!
On our manhood, it's a blot!
Where is the leader who will save us?
And be the first man to be shot?

Peddler:
Me?

Men:
It's a scandal, it's an outrage!
Jist a wink and a kiss and you're through!

Peddler: